Accepting Your Light and Your Darkness to Become Whole

There is a common misperception with spiritual people that you have to only be light and love in your interactions with all people.This is just not true. This planet has many predators and evil people who target open-hearted, trusting, loving people and have no problem with taking advantage of them. Therefore as we walk the spiritual path, we must wield our sword of truth and learn to discern who we can trust and open our hearts to, and who we keep very strong boundaries with and a good distance from. The sword is used to cut away the false, within and without.

When we are learning the lesson of discernment, the Universe will send toxic people and situations our way until we get the lesson. If we need to learn how to stand up for ourself or use our voice, we will also encounter toxic people to teach us this lesson.

In order to discern between the light and dark with others, we need to be able to see and fully own the darkness within. There is a point on the spiritual path of becoming our true self where we are asked to accept all of ourself in order to move forward and evolve. We can get stuck when we only want to see ourselves as the good person, the light, the giver, or the protagonist because that is only half of who we are.

We are conditioned to believe that we are only worthy of love if we are kind, caring and doing good deeds. What many of us do unconsciously is we shove those parts of us we don’t like into a dark cage, like a wretched beast and we throw away the key. We have learned that it is not ok to behave that way so we deny those aspects of ourselves. but the truth is, in this human experience, we are both the darkness and the light. You are going to be the villain and antagonist to people, and it’s ok.

On this planet of duality, there is both light and dark. We are spirit and flesh, we are Divine and human and we all have darkness as well as our light. It is the darkness where the pain and the struggle work with the soul to create growth. This is why souls line up to get into a body on Earth.

It’s not beneficial for us to feed the darkness within, but we do need to accept and own it. The key that will set us free is to accept our inner aspects like greed, anger, jealousy, fear, lust, vengeance, and hatred. Only when we take full ownership of something, do we have the ability to change it. If we continue to deny that it even exists within us, it will persist, festering deep down inside and we may carry shame and guilt with us in our energy field and body that other people can sense.

I recently worked with a male client who was raised by a narcissistic father. He loved his father but had a lot of hatred and hurt toward him as well. Those two conflicting emotions can create an impasse within. He felt guilt and shame for having anger and even hatred toward his father. A person who was mistreated and harmed by a parent has every right to feel anger and rage toward that parent.

Often parents will not allow their children to express “negative” emotions like sadness, anger, frustration and fear and so that child will learn that that emotion is unacceptable and will repress that emotion. It will eventually come out through the body 40 years later as digestive issues, degenerative disc disease, ulcers or heart problems.

We have to be honest with ourselves about the truth we feel within, even if it is connected to feeling shame and self-hatred. Many people are not even aware what their true self feels. The Universe will help you discover your inner truth through lessons of betrayal, obstacles, loss and hardship. That’s why all the pain and struggle is for us, because it reveals the truth within!

Once we own it, we can integrate that part of us that feels “bad” for having that feeling. It’s a game changer. Once we own it, we can fully process those old emotions and release them forever so they don’t loop around and come back. That’s how you know they’re healed, because that old memory doesn’t resurface.

As we own all of ourselves, we understand that strong boundaries within are imperative. We have to own our inner bitch or asshole to be able to tell people no or if we need to, tell them to f@#k off. It seems terribly unspiritual but it’s necessary! Otherwise we get used and harmed. Be sweet and loving, but if you need to, become the storm. And it’s ok.

Sending much love, peace and blessings you way.