Unconditional Love of the Self

immaculate-heart-of-maryI have had the immense pleasure of being able to provide the gift of Light through vibrational healing sessions and spiritual counsel that comes through me from my Higher Self and the beings of Light whom I connect with going on 8 years now…  There are many themes within the sessions that apply to our human existence and I watch and listen as the teachings are brought to the individuals who are working through their issues on their journey (as we all are). The one teaching that I am seeing as a king pin to help all other issues be resolved is learning to love our Self unconditionally.

Some of us are never taught to love ourselves.  To love ourselves is the ultimate love, along with the love of God, for we enter into this world and leave this world with our Self and throughout our existence we are always with our Self, so the relationship we have with our Self is crucial to a happy existence.

The spirit enters the body in each lifetime, passes through the veil from the other side and becomes incarnated.  As we pass through the veil, we forget whence we came from and are raised in our cultures and societies by parents and people who have been conditioned by the minds and hearts of this world.  We forget the unconditional love that we once knew.  It is each person’s responsiblity and challenge in their lifetime to walk themselves back to unconditional love, to truly know the love for the Self.  This can be a long journey, especially for the children who were born to abusive parents or experienced severe trauma, but each of us can do it.  It is our main lesson.

Eric Fromm, a psychologist, states that loving oneself means to “care for oneself, take responsibility for oneself, respect oneself and know oneself”.  I would add that we must honor our Self and have compassion and understanding for our Self. It means that we honor our needs and we find the courage to speak up for ourself when our needs aren’t being met.  It means that when we make mistakes, we find firmness to change while at the same time being loving, not critical of ourselves for making the mistake.  It means that we have firm boundaries and we don’t let anyone treat us with disrespect and if they do, we walk away.  It means that when we need to change something to make our lives work better, that we take the appropriate actions or seek help from others to make the change, if we cannot do it ourselves.  It means we are our own best friend and we look out for ourselves.

I remember a time in my own life when I did not love myself. I was never taught to love myself and there are many of us out there who know this subject was never brought up or discussed…ever!  I was always very critical and judgmental of my self.  I wasn’t even aware of what I was saying to my self (self-talk), but I knew that I didn’t feel good a lot of the time.  Then I began to listen to the words I was saying inside of my head to my own self, and they weren’t very nice!  It has taken me 13 years of working on loving my self to know what it truly feels like to have unconditional love for my self. The first thing we need to do is become aware of the self talk and change it.  We must never berate, judge, criticize or put ourselves down in any way.  Now, I find myself laughing with my self a lot, like a best friend laughs with her best friend, in a jovial, that’s so funny, i can’t believe I did that, goofy kind of way.  It feels fun and light.  I had to practice this changing of the self talk over and over until it became my new inner voice that rules the head. It is the voice of my heart.

Think about someone whom you have total unconditional love for; it could be a pet, a child, a parent, a spouse, a best friend. Really feel that person in your heart.  Now think about a time when they did something wrong.  Did you hate them for it?  Did it change the way you felt about them?  Most likely if you have unconditional love for them, it didn’t…  Now, begin to look at your self in the same way.  Treat your self as you treat your beloved.  Be compassionate and forgiving, be supportive and encouraging, be there for you…always.

Exercise for practicing self-love. Lie down and place your hands over your heart. Close your eyes, connect with your heart and breath deeply in and out of your nose until you feel connected to your own heart. Feel the love you have for your Self and grow the feeling in your heart. Affirm out loud “I AM connected with my Self.” “I Honor my Self”. “I Respect my Self.” “I Trust my Self.” “I Love my Self.” “I will never abandon my Self.” “I AM love.” Repeat these over and over feeling the love in your heart for your self grow. Repeat daily.

As you practice loving yourself you will find that you come to a place of total acceptance of who you are including all the behaviors or ways about you that you once disliked or hated.  As your acceptance of yourself grows, you will find that you are more likely to accept others as they are.  As your acceptance of others grows, you will see your relationships improving.  I can feel when someone is judging me and it doesn’t feel good so I don’t hang out with those people.  When you feel someone accepting you completely, you will want to be with them, trust will evolve and a positive, healthy relationship will blossom.  The same holds true for the relationship with your Self!

As your relationship with your Self deepens and strengthens, you will bring this love with you everywhere you go.  Every issue that arises will be dealt with in a kind and understanding way for your Self as you work to solve it because that will be your new way of being….loving.

self-loveGod/Goddess loves us unconditionally.  This is the Truth.  It may not seem like God/Goddess loves us when our house burns down or our child dies or our body is wracked with cancer, but it is the Absolute Truth as I know it.  God/Goddess sees us as perfect creations of his/her own Self, as a beloved child.  It is through these eyes of love that we are asked to see our own Self.  No matter what mistakes we make, no matter what patterns we repeat, we are here to learn and it may take many lifetimes till we have a true understanding of the best way in which to walk on this Earth, with love in our hearts for our own selves and for all living beings. Until we learn that unconditional love is the way and we act in that way, we are loved right through every step, through every lesson, through every triumph.  Life is so much more enjoyable and beautiful when you can go through each day with unconditional love for your Self. And, each of us deserves it, it is our God-given birthright.