I used to think I had to have it all figured out to be someone that other people would respect, admire and listen to.
I used to be ashamed of my faults and flaws and I didn’t realize it at the time but I was so afraid that people would find out that I didn’t have it all together. (I think they call it imposter syndrome.) And I spent a lot of time, (again, without realizing it) judging others for not having their sh*t together. Really, I was just judging myself and projecting it onto others. That judgment caused a lot of separation within myself and with others.
Then a wonderful thing happened. I lost everything in a huge cataclysmic disaster and all of my worst nightmares became real. It was literally a sh*t show!
How can that be wonderful, you ask?
Because that was the doorway to me becoming my authentic self. I had heard about “being authentic” before, but like most things, you can hear the phrase and not really understand what it means until you experience it for yourself.
Authenticity means you become real… realer than you ever thought you could be. And for me, it meant accepting all of my flaws and faults and loving myself just as I am – “warts and all”, as my mom used to say. I thought I had to be perfect and that’s just not possible, because we are human and humans are not perfect.
After the cataclysmic event I began to see the parts of me that I had kept hidden because I didn’t like them. These were hidden in my unconscious. Like how I used to be fearful of money so I would be really cheap and try and get everything for free. I would nickel and dime everyone and I was a miser and hoarded everything for myself. My life and business suffered because of it and I couldn’t get to the next level. The funny thing is, I didn’t even realize I had that fear. I’ve had to work with this one for a while and now I’ve been successful in turning it around. I had to heal my root chakra. It took years to transform.
The root chakra is our foundation. If our foundation has not been laid properly, we have no support in life. We must learn how to be self-supporting not only in our material world, but also with our emotions. This is called self-sourcing. Instead of looking for security, acknowledgment, appreciation and love from outside ourselves – and demanding that others meet our needs, we can learn to do this on our own as we meet ourself within. It is what creates self-security instead of insecurity. We then begin to know who we are and stand up for ourselves in every way. This is a big one. The foundation has to be strong in order to build a house that stands the test of time.
We pick up patterns from our family dynamics, what happened when we were younger, or from past lives and we often don’t see our own behavior. Sometimes we need big wake-up calls to see what we are doing that needs to be healed and transformed.
There are many things we can keep hidden from ourselves because it’s difficult to see ourselves. It’s easy to see others, however, and all of their flaws. It takes a lot of courage to look at oneself with honesty and accept what we find out to be the truth. Only once we accept it can we change it. Denial will only create more denial and then progress is thwarted. To really evolve, we have to deal with the reality of who we are. The “good”, the “bad” and the “ugly.”
The realer we become, the more comfortable we are in our own skin. We can own all of ourselves and this means that we can love and accept others for their flaws too. We are meant to have flaws, for we need them in order to grow. The whole human condition is based on having problems to solve so we continue to make progress and eventually turn everything into love.
We are all just trying to work our sh*t out. So much is hidden in our unconscious and depending on how much trauma a person has had, there can be a lot to unpack and shift. Some people are not aware of their behavior and this can be frustrating. I have been that person, you have been that person… and it’s ok.
I enjoy being around the people that are consistently working to improve themselves. I think that’s what we’re here for – to evolve so we can learn to love ourselves and each other better. Ultimately, our lives lead to one thing – helping others. Serving others and the Creator. That’s it. That’s the ultimate goal.
For all of you out there who are struggling with something about yourself that you haven’t worked out yet… just know it’s all for you. It’s your grain of sand in the oyster and you will eventually make that pearl. Develop compassion, patience and understanding for yourself and others and you work through your stuff. It makes the ride so much more enjoyable.
You are a sacred soul and you are loved every step of the way.
Love and peace, my friends. Stay real.