Healing our Grief

Today, October 6, is the blessed new moon in Libra! October is a great month to find our balance again. Libra is the sign of the scales (for balance and harmony) that is ruled by Venus, the planet of love & abundance. If you feel like you’ve been stuck or jammed up lately, we have had 6 planets going retrograde (which can make us feel stuck). So if you’ve been feeling uncomfortable, there’s some good news ahead as 4 planets will go forward again this month and we will feel like life is flowing again.

Those retrograde planets are asking us to go inward and deal with what we need to deal with so that we can process it and release it to make room for the new! Grief is such a big subject these days because there are so many people (and pets) leaving the planet. Not only are we grieving our loved ones that we’ve lost, but many of us have said goodbye to old friends who no longer fit into our world (and it’s ok). And on top of that, we are grieving our old self and our old lives. It’s a lot to deal with!!

Firstly, I just want to offer you a big hug. These times are challenging and we could all use a little love and understanding. I feel ya! We are going to make it through….together.

Sometimes grief can feel like it goes on forever. My mother died 16 years ago and I still couldn’t look at her picture or think about her without crying. Last week it dawned on my that I hadn’t fully processed her death and that I needed to get proper closure so I could move on.

When we get stuck in grief, it may be because we haven’t fully accepted the situation. It may also be because we haven’t had closure. This can happen if the person died suddenly and you didn’t get to speak with them before they passed. Sometimes we hold on because we don’t want to let them go. We have to be honest with ourselves at some point and move on with our lives. Otherwise we are robbing ourselves of a full life here on earth. That old saying, “Life is for the Living” is true. We also may have energetic cords attached to them that are leaking our energy. This can happen even if the person has crossed over.

One way to process grief is to do a ceremony. If you’re not familiar with doing a ceremony, I’ve outlined some steps below. It’s really about being fully present with your Self, God and the Spirit of the person whom you are grieving.Just show up and deal with what is going on inside of you.

Ceremony for Processing Grief

  1. Go to a room where you will have privacy.
  2. Light a candle and wash yourself in white light.
  3. Place a small bowl or glass of water in front of you to absorb the energy of the ceremony. (optional) Bring a photo of the deceased loved one(s). No worries if you don’t have one.
  4. Call in your Higher Self, I AM presence, and your Spirit Team.
  5. Now call in the spirit of the deceased loved one. You may or may not feel them come in.
  6. Speak clearly to the one who has passed over. Tell them everything you need to say. Let it all out. Crying and releasing any repressed sadness will be helpful. Speak from your heart. Make sure you say everything, with no stone left unturned.
  7. Set your intention to release them and create closure. (Your love for them will never die and you will see them again when it is your turn to cross over).
  8. Ask Archangel Michael to come in. Call to him 3 times.
  9. Ask Archangel Michael and your Higher Being to cut any unhealthy cords between you and that person and to remove any energetic attachments to them and send it into the light.
  10. Ask for the roots to be removed. Ask Archangel Michael to channel golden and pink light into your energy field and body where the roots one were, for healing and regeneration.
  11. Thank Archangel Michael, your Spirit Team, Your Higher Self and I AM presence. Thank the spirit of the person who passed.
  12. Wash yourself in white light and place blue light and diamond light around your energy field for protection.
  13. Blow out the candle and pour the water outside onto the earth.

We form energetic cords with people in our lives. They usually attach around the solar plexus and heart, but can attach other places too. These cords can become unhealthy and the other person can suck our energy from us, or we can leak our energy to them, or vice versa. It’s important that we cut these cords regularly and remove the roots. We also have healthy cords with people, and they are meant to be there. So when you clear them, please be sure to say “cut any unhealthy cords”. We need to continue to clear our energy fields of other people’s energetic attachments. As an energy healer, I can’t even begin to tell you how important this is. You will be amazed at how light and clear you feel when you are only experiencing your own energy.

After I did the ceremony with my mother, I felt a huge shift. I am amazed that I hadn’t seen that I needed to do that sooner. We can’t see so much of what is going on inside of us, until one day we gain clarity. Maybe I wasn’t ready to let go… Now I can look at a picture of her or think about her and it feels good. The deep sadness has been released. Everything is in proper order. I still love her and I will always love her, but now I am free of the grief that was holding me back. I am ready to step into my new life.

Losing loved ones, whether from passing or just moving on is heart wrenching. Loss is an amazing teacher. It teaches us that life is precious and to be grateful for our life and for the people who cross our path. It teaches us not to hold on or grasp too tightly. And the more loss you experience, the more you understand that life is always going to bring in something or someone new for you to enjoy, learn with and from. Life is bountiful and continuously flows to us, if we let it. Learning to let go gracefully is what life wants to teach us because one day, we will be asked to offer up the ultimate surrender… our own life. Every loss is just a rehearsal for that day. Can we learn to love who is in front of us, right now, in each present moment? Can we learn to be grateful for all of it? This is where the treasure lies. We have so much to be grateful for! We are alive! We are loved!

We can thank every one who has been a part of our life and recount our time with them not from our head, but from our heart. They have each left their marks there, in one form or another. Some have been blessings, others blessings in disguise. They are all our teachers. Thank them, honor them, love them and then release them.

The truth is…Love never dies, it lives on in our hearts for eternity. Isn’t that just perfect and beautiful?