Love Yourself into the New You

We are all here at this time on earth to change our reality and create Heaven on Earth. But how do we get there from this mess that we are in? How do we move 8 billion people from a destructive cycle into a constructive cycle? I know from my own experience how this positive transformation can occur. And it might not be what you think.

The change happens inside us over time as we experience different situations that alter our perception of ourselves and the world. The Universe supports each one of us through this transformation as our Soul creates the exact events, situations and experiences we need to change into a new version of ourselves. It’s a process that must be honored and it takes as long as it takes for each one of us to wake up to the truth of who we are and move from victim consciousness (I’m helpless) to Creator consciousness (I create my highest reality from love).

We may experience abusive or narcissistic relationships either with our spouses, our boss, our co-workers, or friends and it is up to us to learn love ourselves enough to create strong boundaries that say, “No, I will no longer tolerate this behavior.” The purpose of that abusive relationship is to teach you to stand up for yourself and by doing so, you are learning to love yourself and put yourself first. This is the lesson that is meant for us in this type of situation along with discernment. We may want a relationship to be a certain way and we may ignore the red flags and superimpose our ideal version of the relationship onto what is actually happening – the reality. We must learn to align with the truth and see things as they are, not how we want them to be. It’s a powerful lesson to learn.

We may go through extreme loss: perhaps our house burns down, our loved one dies, or multiple people die. Maybe we lose our job or get divorced. What is this experience of loss teaching us? For one, it teaches us the impermanence of life, to value what we have in the moment. Two, it teaches us that the only thing that is real is love. Think of someone in your life right now who is important to you that you love. Now think about if they were to leave your life forever tomorrow. How would you look at them differently? Would the way you treat them change if you knew you’d never see them again? Can you feel your heart opening and feel more love?

Great loss can shut us down at first when we suffer grief and heartbreak. But eventually, when we experience enough of it, it can liberate us and open us up in such a way that we are so grateful for every now moment and we truly value what we do have, right here, right now. It teaches us Gratitude. Loss humbles us. It is a great leveler.

Many of us have experienced betrayal in the past few years – old friends that we thought would always be in our life suddenly turn on us and it is so painful and confusing. Or we may play that role in someone else’s life. During the pandemic, a division was forged. Perhaps you lost an entire group of friends. This can also occur during divorce when mutual friends choose sides. There are many ways betrayal can visit us.

Betrayal is another great teacher. It teaches us self-reliance and strengthens our relationship with ourself. Rather than seeking acknowledgment, attention, love and support from outside of ourself, we learn to give ourself all those things to meet our own needs. This is a big one. If that is not the lesson we need, and we already know how to do that, the betrayal may come to us simply because our vibration is changing and we no longer resonate with those people. We have learned everything we our soul needed to learn from them and our soul contract is now complete. Allow whomever leaves your life to go, knowing that new people will be entering who are a better vibrational match going forward. It’s like being in a play. The second act begins and new actors enter the stage. Welcome the new.

Betrayal also teaches us how to forgive. We don’t only experience betrayal from others, we may betray ourselves and not even be aware that we are doing it. We can learn to forgive others for what we perceived they did and at the same time, we put new boundaries in place where that person is no longer in our life, yet we don’t hold onto the hurt and pain. We honor the person we walked with for a time, honor what they brought into our lives and we bless them and let them go with love. We can also learn to forgive ourselves if we’ve rejected, abandoned or betrayed parts of ourself by judging or criticizing aspects of us we don’t like. Learn to embrace and accept all of yourself to heal this inner rift. Only love can heal us.

Rejection and abandonment are also great teachers. Perhaps your father left when you were a child and that event resulted in you feeling worthless. That imprint of worthlessness festers as a wound deep inside, just like a grain of sand that irritates the lining of an oyster. That wound is now creating a pattern of belief that says “I’m not good enough”. That belief sends out a vibration to the Universe. Everyone around you and all your experiences will reflect that belief which will compound the feeling of “I’m worthless” until you become aware of it and make the steps to change it.

The first step is awareness. Having the awareness that your father leaving when you were five had nothing to do with you and everything to do with their own pain and limitations is the first step to changing the pattern. Experiencing rejection or abandonment with other people will continue to happen in your life so that you can address and heal the original wound. Ultimately, a person can take their power back and realize that they are worthy and deserving of love. Abandonment and rejection teach us to value ourselves, claim our worthiness and love ourselves fully, exactly as we are, flaws and all. The wound becomes the pearl.

Financial hardship is a great teacher as well. When we have plenty of money, life is less stressful and we feel more confident when the coffers are full. But what happens when our business has a downturn and the clients aren’t knocking on the door the way they once did? What happens when we’re laid off from our job? Or perhaps we get sick or our loved one is sick and home care is a huge drain on our finances.

Going without money for a time can teach us how to enjoy the things money can’t buy. It also guides us away from a consumeristic lifestyle. Rather than buying things to fill a void within us, we can spend time developing our gifts and talents. Do you spend time playing instruments, creating art, learning languages, helping others, sewing, knitting, cooking, gardening, reading and engaging with your loved ones, children and animals? All these pursuits fill us up from the inside and help to grow our soul. Experiences rather than things help us create a meaningful life. I love beautiful, fine things, but when I lost all my possessions, it gave me a chance to focus on me, my inner world. That was the focus I needed. You can always get more things.

When these transformations take place within our being, they alter our personality as we become clearer and more aligned with the truth. This is when we begin to embody our Soul Self. There is much to integrate as our inner perception and understanding changes. This can take time…years, so it’s important to be compassionate and patient with ourselves during this process. And during this process, trust that the Universe has your back and you have not been abandoned. Walk in faith.

Our Soul Self is our True Self. Wise, confident, creating from a place of love and serving the greater good. When we integrate ourselves, we are no longer worried and fearful, because we have a higher understanding of our place in the world and the process we are in and we have learned how to meet our own needs on every level. We are looking at the greater whole and asking, how can I best serve? We have learned how to have a loving relationship with ourselves, and that is reflected back to us in our world as we attract others who see us, understand us, hear us and love us in the way we deserve to be loved.

The process I have been describing is called alchemy. We are literally changing from one form to another. Just like turning lead into gold, this is the alchemy of changing from our ego self into our soul self. Whole. Authentic. Loving.

My last transformation took 11 years. I experienced all of those things; betrayal, loss, abuse, abandonment, rejection, financial hardship, restriction, limitation, isolation and more. At first, I turned into someone I didn’t recognize, I was my most wounded self. It was incredibly painful and difficult. People left my life in droves. Even I couldn’t stand being with my self. It was yucky! Yet, here I am. The secret was perseverance and trust. Even when I didn’t understand why it was happening, I just kept going, putting one foot in front of the other every day and trusting my guidance that it would all be ok. Even when I couldn’t see how I could get from there to here, it happened. Magically. The heavens opened and grace was granted. But I had to do the inner work! I had to let my old self die. I had to become a different person. I love the new me!! I have never felt so much gratitude, appreciation, self-love, compassion and wholeness as I do now! I am here to serve God in the highest. And yes, it was all worth it!

So whatever you are going through – understand that it has come to visit you for a time as your teacher to help you change into the best version of yourself. Release the victim consciousness and work with your teacher, in whatever form it arrives. This is Earth School. Become teachable. Surrender. Trust the process. It is all for you. You are so loved and cherished.

In truth, you are a magnificent soul and you are here at this time to Create Heaven on Earth. We do this by becoming love. When we are love, we are embodying Heaven on Earth. This is how we do it. See? It’s all about love. Only love is real.