The truth is like a song. When you hear it, it has a certain vibration that resonates as being true. When we live our lives in accordance with our Highest Truth, then we are living in integrity. Integrity is defined as; the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness. The state of being whole and undivided.
Barbara De Angelis writes, “Living with integrity means: Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships. Asking for what you want and need from others. Speaking your truth, even though it might create conflict or tension. Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values. Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe.”
For many people, it is challenging to speak their truth because they are concerned about hurting other people or the consequences they may face if they do speak their truth.
Truth is the foundation from which we build our relationships. If we are not sharing our truth with the other, whether it is your brother, sister, husband, wife, mother, father or child, then you are not allowing true intimacy to manifest. When we speak our truth, we can create a real, intimate relationship with each other because we have a strong foundation.
If one has a feeling or emotion that is one’s truth and they know that by sharing those feelings and emotions that the person who is on the receiving end of their words may get hurt, there is often an unwillingness to share that truth. In this case, those thoughts, feelings or emotions may be downplayed, omitted or distorted into a lie, all to avoid the potentially negative reaction the other person may have to hearing the truth. Especially if you have told that person your truth before and things did not go well. Then there is a fear that is present that further prevents one from being completely honest. Sound familiar?
When we don’t tell our truth to avoid someone else’s negative reaction, both people pay the price. To be true to oneself is imperative to creating a happy, healthy life and relationships. If we are not speaking our truth, the other person will detect what you are saying on some level as false, because it carries a certain vibration. This creates shallow, insincere and fake relationships. Cracks form in the foundation and the falsity simmers and festers below the surface, threatening to explode like a volcano, or shake like an earthquake. Even if one’s intention is good, thinking, “I don’t want to say that to them because it will hurt them”, it is still robbing both people from having an honest relationship that results in both parties living their truth.
Often times if we swallow our truth, our bodies will express it in some way. A person may manifest a goiter in their throat, get migraines, low back pain or have digestive issues, because they can’t stomach their lives. The body doesn’t lie.
Once the truth is revealed, the other person has a firm platform from which to make their choice to how they respond. You cannot dispute another person’s truth. Truth is reality, It is their truth and that is that. But if a distortion of the truth is presented, then the other person does not have a fair playing field from which to base their choice on how they react or respond and further distortions are created in the relationship creating more imbalance and disharmony.
Once the truth is told, there is the next step of compromise in order to satisfy the needs and desires of everyone involved. But if one person continually suppresses their own needs and desires and gives in to the other’s needs, then an imbalance occurs and an unhealthy pattern is formed within that relationship. When one person gives more than the other, resentment builds and unhappiness creeps in. If people can communicate honestly and compromise fairly where both people’s needs are being met, then health is restored.
Speaking and living your truth requires you to be honest with yourself, look at your life and what you are creating without denial and illusion. It requires you to own your stuff and become an authentic person. This requires a person to work on one’s unconscious beliefs that create the self-sabotaging patterns in their lives. This is often the work of a lifetime, but it doesn’t have to be. It is always a choice involving personal accountability.
It’s important to take into account that people may not be telling their truth because they themselves don’t know their truth. They may not know themselves well enough yet or are incapable of being honest with themselves because the truth is too painful or it doesn’t fit their version of who they want to be. This is the real work and we must be compassionate with one another. It is more difficult to be understanding of a person who is consciously lying, manipulating and deceiving than it is to one who is dishonest because they aren’t aware of their truth.
Speaking one’s truth is best received when it is delivered from the heart rather than from an angry place. If you don’t speak your truth for a long time, and resentment and anger has been allowed to build, then quite often when the truth does come out it erupts with angry words that are spiteful and hurtful. So it is on us to understand what our truth is and speak it as soon as we know it so that we don’t get to that angry place. This is a delicate communication process that needs to be handled with care! And the more you practice it the more beautifully you can express it and share it with others. Once your practice is in place, it becomes a habit, which then becomes a way of life.
People appreciate hearing the truth. They may not like it, but they appreciate it much more than a lie.
Once you know your self and can be honest with yourself and all others, you are on the path to true liberation. The Truth does set you free.